“It’s one kind of place, one of a kind”

I have felt so attached to this film ever since I watched it for the first time a few years ago. After finally re-watching it, I am beginning to understand how it has affected me. My Own Private Idaho is one of my favorite films ever. Right now it’s in my top four favorites and will always have a place in my heart. 

The film follows River Phoenix’s character, Mike, who has narcolepsy, wandering  the streets of Seattle, Portland, Rome, and Idaho looking for work as a hustler while also searching for his mother and peace within himself. Accompanying him is Keanu Reeves’s character, Scott, who chooses to live the same way as Mike until he turns 21 and gains his inheritance. Along their journey together, Mike realizes his feelings for Scott but, knowing each other and their lives, accepts that all he will ever be to Scott is, at best, his friend and, at worst, a nameless stranger on the street. 

With beautiful shots capturing the U.S Northwest, and originally inspired by Shakespeare’s Henry IV, the script and performances from the actors create such heartbreaking scenes that I feel affected by the intense emotion and pain through the screen. One specific scene sticks out to me, in which Scott and Mike sit around a campfire and Mike struggles to voice his thoughts. In the scene, Scott tells him two guys can’t love each other, Mike says: “I mean for me, I could love someone even if I wasn’t paid for it. I love you and you don’t pay me.” This scene so painfully shows love and devotion to someone at their worst and best, while highlighting the struggles Mike faces because he loves another man. With these lines, River Phoenix — who actually wrote them — delivers the scene at the heart of the movie. 

Throughout the rest of this film, when the characters are in Rome, Scott meets a young girl whom he falls in love with, abruptly abandoning Mike and jump starting a change in his lifestyle and character. This leads Mike right back to where the film started: Portland, hustling, lonely, and vulnerable after continuously passing out in the street. At the same time, Scott has reclaimed his aristocratic life. 

However, they still both share the same experiences and past regardless of life’s opposite paths, and remain seemingly connected on a deeper level than just social status. This is why the meaning of this film is so complicated yet deeply emotional and impactful.