This film shows the struggles of internalized homophobia at a time and place — the 90s in a small town — when being gay was not accepted, accompanied by a very typical grunge aesthetic. Told through flashbacks from different characters in a police interrogation setting, the audience knows from the start that there has been some kind of incident, but it isn’t shown until the end of the film. 

The main characters, Jack and Mark, have just met because their parents have started dating, and abruptly move in together. This is no issue for the boys, though, as they quickly become close, even best friends, almost immediately. From one of the very first scenes of Jack and Mark together, where they are leaving a restaurant right after they essentially just met, and then are both beaten up outside, all I thought of was how emotionally connected and similar to someone you have to be for that to become a bonding moment. 

Mark has a clearly abusive relationship with his father, and we see their struggles slowly start to drag down Jack and his mother as well. However, this does not change the deep connection between the boys. They are together all the time, along with a girl named Sarah, and though both boys test out a relationship with her, neither thinks it feels right.  

Mark and Jack’s friendship had many intimate moments through the film, but Mark was not ready to accept that they could be anything more to each other, even after both their feelings were made clear. This is because of the difference in how the two boys were raised; one by a single mother, and the other by an alpha type male. This meant that their perspectives on relationships varied, and Mark was taught not to accept what he felt for Jack. 

Halfway through the film, the turning point becomes Kurt Cobain’s death, as he was an inspiration to the boys and a symbol for the film itself, and his passing foreshadows the rest of the plot in a downward spiral for Mark. For many other reasons involving his father and not Kurt’s death, Mark’s mental health becomes worse, while Jack’s feelings for Mark continue to grow. A quote I’m thinking of that explains their dynamic well is Jack asking, “Why not?” and Mark’s response, “I wish you were a girl.”

Following this moment, the boys stumble into the woods, each with one of Mark’s father’s guns, both high past self control. As we saw at the beginning of the film, and why there is a police interrogation going on, a shot rings through the woods. Jack was aiming at what he thought was a squirrel behind a tree, and Mark, behind that same tree, is shown with a gun near his head. The shot kills Mark; however, the audience does not know if Mark shot himself purposefully or if Jack did by accident, making the tragic ending that much more ambiguous.

The title “As You Are” references the song “Come As You Are” from Nirvana and represents the full acceptance of Mark and Jack toward each other. Even though Jack loved Mark completely as he was, Mark couldn’t do the same. The ability to go through as much pain together as they did shows how deep their connection was, so when Jack lost Mark, maybe even as a result of his own recklessness, it was like losing a part of himself. They deserved sunshine and acceptance for one another, and if things at the time were different, they could have had it.